Saturday, June 5, 2010
You know what? I think I've had enough. You think no one understands you. How about me? I'm worse. I can understand you but no one understands me. Why? Because I'm regarded as a gay in class. Because I have a more grown feminine side compared to others. You think it's enjoyable being me? Bloody hell no. If even you can't understand me? Who the hell am I supposed to turn to? I want you to just understand how I feel. It's good enough for me. I don't know what else to do. I can't tell you all these things because it'll be so insensitive. If I can't trust you, who else am I supposed to trust?
I tell you now, you can so easily shun off me complaining I don't have a talent because you have a talent! Unbelievable! If I'm born such a bloody loser than I might as well die. No bloody reason to live. I just want a talent that is beneficial and enjoyable. You have a talent for music. It's so much better than not having a talent.
I just want to know why doesn't anyone understand me. Why? Why can't you understand me? Is it because I'm too much of an ass to comprehend? I hate it whenever I have to compromise and you don't see the sacrifice I make. It's tough enough to be a guy. Worse still, having a more grown gentle side and I get used. I'm sure you know the pain I go through but do you understand that I'm actually getting hurt by YOU?! I'm tired of people always using me. I'm tired of making compromises but I tend to care for you so much. That's just who I am. Is it really that hard to comprehend? I know I don't open up easily but surely swith whatever I've told you, you understand what I'm going through?
I'm tired of always hiding my emotions but if this is the way I have to live then I'll do it. I'll make my whole damn life bloody miserable. I mean this. Even you will not be able to help me then. It's painful to live a life that I always have to make compromises for you. Because if I don't, I feel bad about leaving you alone.
I know you'll never read all these posts. It's okay with me. You are never supposed to read them because you never do what you said. You said you tell me everything. Yeah, rightt. You don't tell me alot of things. You can't deny that fact. I know I'm not the best guy in the world but of no one can appreciate me for who I am then I think I'll live a life of solitude. I won't give a shit about sex because it's not the right thing to do. I don't need a spouse to live life. I'll just spend time alone. I'll be ignored by people like how they don't like me now. Why? Cause I'm different from so many guys. Why won't people understand I'm not the same as most guys? Why can't they at least appreciate me?
Labels: June 2010
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