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Monday, June 7, 2010

It's going to be a brand new day tomorrow. I'll miss you. I know that. I probably won't talk to you much and its always a pain to see you having so much fun with others and I can never have the same fun with you. I wish I could spend more time with you but with the current circumstances, I doubt it'll never happen. I just need some time with you. Laugh with you, play with you. It's never gonna happen because times have changed and it'll never be the same.

I wonder some times what God plans to do in my life. Maybe I'll grow up and I'll need to open up to another person and that person I'll marry. But truth is, I hate opening up to people. There just are so many people that I don't trust with my inner most secrets. I want a good spouse, God. I want one that You think will really benefit me the most.

You know, I think I shouldn't tell you alot of things, because you don't. You always make me say what happen but whenever I ask you the same question, you don't tell me anything. I'm kinda hurt. I cried for 2hours late at night because of it. You always seem to be so unfair to me. Is it because of what my brother did to you that's why you are doing the same thing back to me? I don't know anymore. If I'm really such a burden to you then I don't know what to do. I don't understand why do I always have to give in to you. Why? Tell me, please.

You don't seem to care about me alot. You just treat me as if I'm just another friend to you. It's beginning to eat into me. I'm not okay. Everyday you see me looking fine but I tell you now, I'm not. There are a whole lot of things running through my mind. It's difficult to live with a mind that constantly eats you. Maybe if you ever had a chance at reading this, you'll begin to understand my inmost feelings. Whether or not anything changes is a whole new thing.

Labels: June 2010

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